It was not a ravenous bear that tore out my flesh with his claws.

It was not a lioness cutting through my jugular with powerful jaws.

 

It was subtle, cruel and cunning.

 

As I bent to pick the most fascinating, most unique, most precious flower

I pricked my heart on the most villainous thorn.

And while my heart leapt with joyous wonder when I touched your skin

It only forced my blood to gush out more.

That one day the finest and the most bitter

When you, my child, were born.


 

About "Natural Mother's Lament":
 

This poem is obviously about the pain I experience having lost my children to adoption.

But in addition it is about the "subtle, cruel and cunning" forces that contributed to my "choice" to relinquish my children. Those forces included my own ignorance about the very serious effects that separation may have on a mother and child. The "subtle cruelty" refers to the often unintentional cruelty of those who sell adoption by using terms like "the loving option", by not making the effects of separation widely known, and by not promoting alternative solutions that would keep the original family intact. "Cunning" refers to the intentionally devious means used to obtain children who would have been well loved in their original homes.

The "one day" in this poem has become a recurring nightmare as the years go by and I realize that I have missed out entirely on parenting my children. Many women, like me, could have kept their child and delighted in watching their child grow ? and maybe it would have only delayed their college education.

 

Copyright © Laurie Frisch